Thursday 29 December 2011

My Resolutions

It all started in a festive game of Scattergories.  We play a lot of games around Christmas in the Shantz house.  But this game turned out to be a little bit of a special one -- and no i didn't win.... not even close. (me win Scattergories? Funny)  If you don't know how to play Scattergories then I'll give you a briefer.  You roll a big dice with all the letters on it, then you go through a list of things and you have to make an answer for each of them all starting with the letter on the dice that landed facing up.  Sorry, I'm bad at explaining (that's why the Milton Bros haven't asked me to write game instructions for them yet).

I'm getting distracted.

So the letter was "G" and the question was, "Things you are afraid of" so I thought I was going to be really smart and sneaky and so I put "God"!  Of course thinking of the verse that says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..."  Well when we went through our answers at the end of the round and it came my turn to say my answer to the thing that I was afraid of, I tipped back my head and proudly said, "God".

Blank stares all around.

Then someone said, "You are afraid of God?"
So I proudly cleared my throat and quoted the verse about the fear of the Lord.  Then ensued a healthy disagreement, not at all uncommon in our house.  But here folks is where I needed an extra dose of humility.

I was wrong.

I hate to admit it, but yes, I was wrong.  To fear God and to be afraid of God are two completely different things.  The only reason we can have to be afraid of God is if we are not right with him.  But to fear God is more of an act of worship, a deep respect, an awe, epic admiration of God.  Simply because he is God!

But that leads me to a verse that I have found myself quoting a lot lately. A verse that I think a lot about when I think of the coming year, especially when I get scared about the plans of Nicaragua.  It was so awesome, I was listen to audio Bible while I was in my room this evening and this verse, The Verse, came on: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

God doesn't give us fear! No way, he has way better things to give us, Power, Love and.... wait a minute, Self-control?  God gives the spirit of self control?

But if I call myself a Christian, and God gives the spirit of self control, then I should be a very self-disciplined and controlled man.  But I am not!

I thought back over the year 2011.  What I learned, what I did, what I didn't do.  And one thing resounds clearly, God had a teaching theme for me in 2011!  He was saying, "Lead Jason, lead! Learn to lead!"  Of course I learned other things, but it seems that all those other things got wrapped up in learning to be a leader.  Leading in the youth group, leading at work -- basically just learning how to lead everywhere.

Then I got thinking about the year before 2011, 2010.  What was the big thing that I learned that year?  Do you know what it was?  God was saying it again, "Work Jason, work! Learn to work and work hard!"  That was the year I finished up the very busy Gr. 12 and started my first full time job.  It was a lot of hard work.

Then what about 2009?  What did I learn there?  Learn to learn, Jason!  Learn to learn and learn to love to learn!  That was Gr. 11 and 12.  So there I had it, the Big Learns of the past several years.

2009 - Learn to Learn
2010 - Learn to Work
2011 - Learn to Lead

As I peer ahead, through the mist of uncertainty for what this new year, 2012, will bring, I feel like I'm recklessly running over a the edge of a cliff.  Flipping and falling, spinning and swirling, entirely out of control.  That's really how I feel!  What will God teach me?  What will I learn?  The answer...

I really don't know.  I can't tell the future.

But I have this inkling, this tiny little feeling the answer is wrapped up in that verse, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

I think I can hear him whispering, "Learn to claim power Jason, not your own power, you don't have any anyway, but claim mine!  Learn to love Jason, love your neighbors, the Nicaraguans, as yourself! Learn to be self-controlled Jason, be disciplined!"

I don't do New Year's Resolutions.  But I do, however, do Life Resolutions.

Happy, almost, New Years!

1 comment:

  1. that is pretty awesome jason...made me think of what God has been trying to teach me the last number of years...you are a great writer...keep it up!

    ReplyDelete